Reminiscing the Past
by Sukidayo17
Summary: [oneshot]It's the anniversary of the Ishballan war and Roy sits at his desk remembering the day he had his heart broken. RoyOC with hint of RoyRiza.


A/N: I don't own anyone or anything save for the OC.

_**Reminiscing the Past**_

Colonel Roy Mustang sat at his desk in his office. It was late, well past midnight. On his desk sat the papers of the recent data about the Ishballan War. It's been years since it had ended, but memories of the past still haunt him to this day. He looked at the clock that hung on the wall. It read 2:17 in the morning. Just one more minute… one more minute to go until the ultimate painful memory would hit him full blast.

2:18

Roy closed his eyes with a pained expression on his face. The images ran through his head like he was revisiting those last few days. It was as vivid and real as if he were right there again…

**FLASHBACK**

_He remembered her. That one girl who was literally a walking goddess. He had his eye on her since the day he arrived at the scene of the War. She was just under him in height, making her about 5'6" compared to him. She was stunning. She had a slender body with sharp curves; short golden red hair done in layers, piercing emerald green eyes and a peachy colored complexion. She always wore a white tank that clung to her body like a second skin, showing a fair amount of her chest. She also wore a pair of snake skin pants that also acted like a second skin. _

_She was a rebel, and also a damn good alchemist. She majored in the use of water and the air. She was a top priority for the military since she was considered deadly. Roy had an up close and personal experience with her talent. He never thought he'd live to see the sun, since it happened at night._

_He was making his rounds with another soldier around the outskirts of the city. All was well and quiet, but that was why they were out. It was too quiet for anyone to be comfortable. It was then that Roy's partner stopped breathing. Just like that, and fell to the ground… dead, in an instant. Roy was scared, and he'd tell you if you asked. He's never been so scared in his life. It only intensified when he couldn't breath all of a sudden._

_His hands went to his throat in a futile attempt to stay alive. He could literally feel his lungs burning as if he was setting them on fire. He couldn't take it and fell to his knees. He saw a pair of barefooted feet about a yard away from him. He used what he could muster of his strength to look up at his attacker. Onyx eyes met emerald, and he was slowly released from his death grasp. _

_He gasped for oxygen, allowing the pain from his lungs to subside. He fell back, but a pair of arms caught him and gently leaned him against the stone wall._

_"Oh gods, Roy. I'm sorry. I didn't know that was you."_

_The voice was that of an angel. It had to be. Roy took comfort in that voice and allowed it to soothe his spirit. He sighed gently and half closed his eyes as he felt her hands rubbing his chest to relieve any more of the pain._

_"I thought I told you to get your brother and get out of here," Roy said after he managed to get his voice back. The hands stopped moving and Roy opened his eyes fully to get a good look at his friend. She was crying silently. He sat up and grabbed her arms, forcing her to look at him._

_"Azriel," he said. "What happened? Tell me."_

_Azriel leaned into his chest and buried her head against him. She cried more and Roy couldn't think of anything to do but wrap his arms around her._

_"There was an explosion," she said. "The building we were all hiding in started crumbling all around us. Flames and smoke were everywhere and nobody could determine left from right. In the chaos, I lost him. Cain was there one minute, and then he was gone the next. In the rush to escape, I was pushed out of a window. The next thing I knew, I was watching as the building came down… and I could hear Cain screaming my name."_

_Roy felt his heart stop. He knew what happened. And he was responsible. He was ordered to blow up that exact building earlier that day. He held on to her tighter and wept with her. _

_"I'm sorry," he said. "I… I didn't… I never want-"_

_Azriel placed a finger over his lips to silence him. He looked at her, redness invading the whites of his eyes. She leaned her forehead against his and allowed her fingers to brush down his chins to his neck to lay against his chest._

_"Don't be sorry," she whispered. "I know it's not your fault. You didn't want any part of this, but they forced you. You are not to blame. You were just being the Military Dog you signed up to be, and there was no getting out of it. I'm not upset with you."_

_Roy couldn't think of anything to say. Actually, he just couldn't think. What he did was something neither of them expected. He closed the space between them and caught her lips in a chaste kiss. Nothing more than skin on skin… for the moment. After a few seconds, they went further. Azriel opened her mouth to catch some air and Roy took that chance to thrust his tongue into her warm mouth. Her moan caused him to go further and his hands began to run up and down her back._

_As she pushed up against him, her full breasts pushed him back into the wall. He allowed his hands to brush up and down her bare arms. Azriel arched her back, which gave her the position she needed to pull them back so she was on the ground with Roy on top of her. Their kiss never broke in the movement._

_Azriel wrapped her legs around the older man, pulling his lower body to hers. She could feel his erection through his pants and she groaned from the sense of it. Unable to keep the kiss any longer, Roy parted and looked down upon the younger female as they both gasped for air._

_"You realize that if we get caught, we'll both be executed?"_

_Azriel only gave him a look._

_"It's a danger I'm willing to face," she said. "I'm a dangerous girl. Are you worried about it?"_

_"Not really," he whispered back. She leaned up and kissed his again._

_"Then why should I?"_

**END FLASHBACK**

Roy opened his eyes, but the memory of that night still played in his mind. They made passionate love to each other in the middle of a war he was supposed to be fighting in. Not to mention that he was making love to the enemy. At that moment, he figured that the rest of the Military didn't have to know about it. He wouldn't dare. He actually fell in love with that girl. He wasn't expecting to, but sometimes you can't help whom you fall in love with. It just happens.

But he wished it wasn't that way. He sat there staring out of his window thinking how he should have just got up and walked away from her. He wished he didn't allow his feelings and emotions get all caught up in the war and with that girl. She was nothing but heartache after that night. It wasn't her fault though. No… it was all his. It was always his fault.

**FLASHBACK**

_They had found out about the Ishballan girl. It seemed that another soldier had followed Roy to relieve his partner who'd been killed by Azriel. He saw the entire lovemaking scene and instantly reported it to the General. As soon as Roy returned to camp, he was taken into custody for treason. _

_Roy was ready and prepared for his sentence of execution. He bravely confronted the General as he walked into the tent, his hands cuffed behind his back. He stood proud and was ready to go down with it. But when he was read his sentence, it wasn't what he had actually expected._

_"Roy Mustang: Your are accused of Treason against the Fuhrer by engaging in sexual activities with the enemy. How do you plea?"_

_"Guilty." There was no hiding it. As long as Azriel got away, he didn't care what happened to him._

_"The punishment is death in this situation," the General said. "But in this case, since you hate being here, I have come up with something else for your sentence._

_"The war is about over, and we all want to go home. Your sentence is to end the war once and for all. You are sentenced to destroy the entire city of Ishbal with one large explosion. It will commence as soon as this hearing is dismissed."_

_Roy's face noticeably paled, and he felt his pupils dilate. His heart was literally pounding in his ears so hard that he didn't hear the dismissal of the hearing. Before he knew it, he was standing in front of the gate to the city, watching as all kinds of people tried to climb on each other to escape their fate. _

_He held out his hand, ready to snap, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He scanned the faces of the scared people. Men, women, husbands and wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters… lovers. He saw every face but one. He relaxed a bit, knowing that the missing person got away. But he still didn't want to do it._

_He was startled from behind and his fingers snapped. He jerked his head in the direction of the city and watched as a ball of flames shot its way out from the middle of the city. He heard the last screams of the different individual lives he had taken… then he saw her._

_She had just reached the gate to the city and she couldn't go any further._

_"Azriel!" He didn't realize he had screamed her name. He watched as she reached out to him, and he noticed that something dropped from her hand just as the flames from the explosion engulfed her body._

_Despite the cheers and whoops of celebration for the victory, Roy had no such feelings. He dropped to his knees, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. It was warm where he was, but that had nothing to do with the violent shaking his body did. The flames from the city reflected in his eyes and the tears that did fall down his cheeks. The saline burned his skin and turned it red and raw. His hands were clenched painfully in front of him._

_Roy didn't move when he heard the footsteps of someone behind him. He knew well who it had to be. _

_"That was the punishment," the baritone of the General told the crumpled form. "You chose to engage in a relationship with the enemy and you both suffered for it. I'm sure you both thought about the consequences._

_"Head back to Central, Mustang. Get some sleep and go back to your normal life."_

_Roy didn't move for hours. It was near dusk by the time he got himself to stand. The fires throughout the city have died up to then, and Roy walked the clutter and debris, looking, hoping, and searching for any signs that someone survived. There was no such luck._

_He stood just outside where the gate would have been. In fact, he stood about a yard away from where he last saw the one girl he truly loved. He couldn't help but think about Romeo and Juliet; their situation was very similar. But Roy's Juliet died at his hands. He dropped his head as new tears found their way to his eyes. That's when he saw it._

_There, underneath the small layer of ashes sat a simple silver band. Roy stooped down and picked it up. Wiping away the dirt he was able to make out the single word that was engraved in it. _

_Life._

**END FLASHBACK**

Roy placed his hand over his heart. He stroked the slight bulge there with his index finger. Under his shirt was that same silver band from the war zone. It had belonged to Azriel, and it was what she dropped on the ground just before she died. He remembered the story behind it.

Everyone in her family had a ring just like it, each one with a different word. Her mother had the word "care" on her ring. Her mother was caring and generous. Her father had "strength" on his since he was the backbone of the family. He also did all he could to make sure his family got what they needed to survive. He was strong willed in everything he did. Her brother Cain had the word "create" since he was a young artist.

But Azriel had "life". She was a free spirit and she always lived life to the fullest, fighting for what she believed. Roy knew her for about a month when he learned all of this. That's why she became an alchemist, to fight for her city and continue to allow the people to live their lives like they were before the war. She hated the war as much as he did, and that's when sort of attracted him to her.

Roy couldn't help but silently cry at her memory. It was true that he had a steady relationship with Riza Hawkeye now, and he does share his love with her, but there will always be a place in his heart for the Ishballan girl he fell in love with during the war. Riza knew this about him, and respected it to the fullest.

Roy looked at the clock again.

2:59

He was tired, but knew he couldn't drive the way he was. He got up from his chair and lay down on the couch in his office. Closing his eyes, he dipped into that part of his mind where he could visit Azriel. He always took comfort in knowing she was always there, and that he could always see her.

Next year would be the same, and Roy would look forward to it. Remembering the past is good sometimes. Even the bad memories help you to go on and realize that those mistakes can be avoided in the future.

_Drifting to sleep, the gentle wind blew through the open window in the Colonel's office. It was soft and kind as it caressed against the sleeping man's hair. He smiled, rolling over so his back was to the room. The Wind bent down and placed a small soft kiss on the man's cheek, gaining a smile from the brunette._

_"Azriel…"_

_It was a whisper, but the Wind heard him perfectly. She placed her hand on his should her and smiled before drifting away out the window. _

_"Live your life to the fullest, Roy."_

_And then she was gone._

**A/N: I was in the mood for a Roy fic. I figured I'd practice writing a oneshot so my other stories won't end up being so long. I did this mainly to prove to myself that I really can write a one shot. What do you all think? I know there are probably some things there about the Ishballans that I got wrong. Don't flame cause I was just doing this for fun. Reviews would be really nice please. Thanks for reading!**


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